Anger Management

1. Learn positive ways to cope with and vent anger.

• • Practice deep breathing (as learned in yoga classes)
  • Practice visual imagery (i.e. meditation)
  • Learn to stop the anger cycle, remove yourself from the tense situation and cool off. Ask yourself:
    • What am I angry about?
    • Is my reaction appropriate or extreme?
    • How does the other person feel?
    • What do they want the outcome to be?
    • What do I want the outcome to be?
    • Is there room to negotiate a few different options and decide on a reasonable outcome?
    • Can I go back to the other and discuss this calmly?
    • Am I prepared to listen to what the other has to say without reacting in anger?

2. A Chill-Out/Cool-down room is also very important for anger management in children. Respect the need for each person to have their angry feelings and give them space to calm down. Pushing a discussion when someone is heated is asking for an argument.

3. Redirect your child to an acceptable behavior/activity and have fun with them. Example: “Joey, you may not throw your pencils when you’re frustrated with homework, but you can tell me you’re upset or ask for help, or go outside for a minute and take a few deep breaths. What will work best for you?

4. Talk to your child the way you’d want someone to talk to you. Teach respect. Bend down and talk with your child at eye level.

 

 

5. Own your part in a conflict/argument. Be aware of your childhood issues.

6. Remember – you are a role-model and teacher to your child.

7. Focus on the positive and keep a positive attitude. Catch your child being good and reward them with praise. (If the day seems difficult, calmly talk with your child and say, “Let’s turn this day around and start fresh.”)

8. Do not refer to your child as “bad.” We do not want to shame them and cause lowered self-esteem. The child is not bad, the behavior is. Tell your child what they can do and not just what they can not do.

9. Be kind to your child even when you’re angry. Keep your feelings in check and be a positive role-model by telling your child, “I need a time-out to calm down”, set the timer and take a break, practice deep breathing and regroup.

10. Give your child a 5 minute warning to transition activities and avoid tantrums.

11. Read books that teach anger management. Example: When I Feel Angry. Teach your child acceptable ways to vent anger and practice them too!

12. Apologize to your child when you have lost control of your anger. Parents are human and make mistakes. Children learn from your modeling so you must take responsibility for your actions and feelings.